Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize