If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
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You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
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He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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