I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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