I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
