so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
