Say something about gay babies.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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