I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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