If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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