can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize