My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
