Sry I called you an 8
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
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He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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