If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
