i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
