Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
