Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You ever have a fart follow you around?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize