So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
No subtext here. People are naked.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
