Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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