i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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