I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize