i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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