That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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