just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
