me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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