went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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