Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
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I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
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6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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