What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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