3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
