sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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