If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
