dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
