I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
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Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
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Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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