I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
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If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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