It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
