You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When are your genitals available?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
