He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize