Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
