Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
