i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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