Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.

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(503): View more from Oregon

i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass

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(650): View more from California

so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.

(1-650): View more from California

did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?

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(763): View more from Minnesota

lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(586): View more from Michigan

Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"

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(720): View more from Colorado

Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?

(303): View more from Colorado

He told her it was international road head day.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"

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(716): View more from New York

I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.

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