Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Dating After Heartbreak
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.