Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
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Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink