Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay

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(937): View more from Ohio

Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.

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(970): View more from Colorado

3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(931): View more from Tennessee

Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids

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(+49): View more from Germany

Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.

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(949): View more from California

You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol

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