forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
