Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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