also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
