Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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