Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
