went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
