I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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