Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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