on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
