careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
