Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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