So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
