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• (757): View more from Virginia

  If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.

  Fav 21 4454 1046

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• (512): View more from Texas

  so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button

  Fav 11 2904 1707

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.

  Fav 27 4509 1041

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  This is why you shouldn't make decisions

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.

  Fav 6 2570 876

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...

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• (845): View more from New York

  On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.

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• (213): View more from California

  His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.

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• (585): View more from New York

  She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.

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