True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
