I can text with my tongue
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
