And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
