His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
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I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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